Tuesday, April 13, 2010

*sigh* i'm back

ok, i had this great idea that i would sign up for the Ravenswood 5k on April 25. that gave me enough time to get my act together, maybe lose a few pounds and maybe run the whole race.

ok, i'm now 36 and my body had other ideas. i was doing REALLY WELL in the beginning, training like the training log said, for about 2 weeks. my legs felt more muscular, but things were starting to be more tight than before. of course, it always works that way. then i decided to lift weights.

that's when i got sick.

it never fails. i lift weights, a few days later i feel achy and exhausted and totally run-down. so i fell off the running band wagon for a few days. i sat on the couch saturday and sunday because i was lazy and still feeling crappy.

then my knees wanted in.

i probably don't wear the best shoes in the world. i wear flats. all the time. ballet flats. no support. not to run, you idiot, to be fashion forward at work. but lately, as in since last thursday maybe, walking up the stairs makes my knees hurt. yesterday, my knees felt like they were going to explode. i couldn't tell if they were swollen visibly, but they sure felt like it. then i walked to the train, and from the train to the Hilton downtown. i thought i was going to cry. by the time i got home, i felt like such an invalid, every step was like knives in my right need. woke up feeling a little better. got to work (wearing a little bit more sole support) and they started to hurt again. i took some ibuprofen and they feel a little better, but they are still noticeable. the last two times i went running, i had to stop because my knees hurt so bad.

ok, body, you may think you've won this round, but i think not. i am going to gym today. i'll do the elliptical this time and see what happens. i shudder at having to get new shoes 1.5 weeks out of the run, but to prevent further damage, i might have to. i just don't have $100 to drop right now. and the newest shoes i have i dont' run in because i don't like them. crap.

anyway, it's the infamous week before my period. i feel like a bloatasaurus. i haven't weighed myself in weeks. this probably isn't the time, given my ability to plunge into vast depression over my body image at this point in the month. i made a list of foods i should and should not eat yesterday. then i went out to jimmy johns and put regular mayo on my sandwich. and i put sugar on my bran flakes this morning. it's cane sugar, if that makes it any better. and i didn't mix my bran with another, sweeter cereal. i've been trying to drink more water today. and on my home last night, i stopped at andy's fruit ranch and wrangled up some apples, bananas and strawberries. i ate one banana on the way home. washed and ate a few strawberries at home. made some toast (used margarine instead of butter, which sucked because butter melts much better and tastes awesome with this bread). it was white bread. bad. but i didn't eat too much. i woke up in the middle of the night because of my tiny bladder and my growling stomach. that eventually goes away, right? you get used to eating less, right? i know it's right because i've done it before.

but i have problems sticking to something that just doesn't come naturally. i know that's all part of changing your habits, and day 1 and/or 2 isn't bad. it's days 3, 4, 5 that post the most problems to me. i decide not to work out, or i let the hubby talk me into ordering pizza or indian food. and when i'm hungry and lazy, nothing sounds better. here's where careful planning comes into play. i guess the food list is a start. here's to wondering if i post on this blog again in the next 2 months.